Disagreement Doesn't Equal Disrespect

How many times have you had a disagreement with a co-worker?

Probably a lot, and you're not alone. It happens to all of us.

And you know what, it's okay.

It's healthy to have disagreements. Having disagreements in the workplace breeds new ideas, new friendships, and new ways of solving problems. But unfortunately, a workplace disagreement too often leads to disrespect, and that's not okay. Disrespect in the workplace leads to passive-aggressive behavior, dysfunction, and ultimately lost production.

My five decades in the workforce have taught me many things, but arguably the biggest lesson I've learned is that disagreement doesn't equal disrespect. Respect for one another is the cornerstone of any good relationship. Without respect, there isn't trust or a free exchange of ideas, which leads to stagnation. Most would agree, we should obviously have respect for one another. But if this idea is so obvious, why does disrespect happen so much in the workplace?

I believe the biggest reason for disrespect due to disagreements comes from our insecurities.

No one wants to be wrong. No one wants to have an idea dismissed or not taken seriously. When we are in disagreement with co-workers, we are trying to get some point or some message across to our counterparts, but they are not in agreement with us.

Far too many times, we as individuals feel disrespected in these moments.

"How can they not see it my way?"

"What are these people thinking?"

"Their idea is terrible."

And there isn't anything wrong with those thoughts. But it's wrong when we allow ourselves to become offended by someone not seeing it our way. Healthy dialogue isn't forced, it's about listening, honesty, and being secure enough in your ideals and beliefs not to be offended because someone disagrees with you.

Dwight D. Eisenhower once said, "By mutual respect, understanding, and with goodwill, we can find acceptable solutions to any problems which exist or may arise between us."

Respect doesn't have an expiration date; it doesn't come with conditions or requirements—it comes from within each of us. Respect is organic and it's pure.

As leaders, it's this understanding that we must pass on.

It's our responsibility to teach confidence, look for differences and learn to leverage them and turn our and others' insecurities into opportunities.

Want more?

Join John's upcoming Webinar 'Leadership and You' to learn about the importance of leadership, creating a positive work environment, handling workplace disagreements, building trust and respect, and leveraging insecurities for growth and learning.

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Written by Col John Olshefski

John is a titan in the energy and natural gas industry. Having served as the Chairman of the APGA, long-time leader at Huntsville Utilities, and other impactful industry roles. John loves to speak, write, and chat about leadership and all things relating to utilities and the energy industry.

Want to see more of John? Check out the multiple times he has been a guest on Coffee with Jim & James!